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I am going to miss my dog, Gromit. He is the cutest animal in the world!

Technology and me

I'm at it again. I write something, delete it, write something, delete it etc. Sometimes being a writer means huge amounts of frustration from lack of creativity, or a feeling of self doubt. I have deleted so many stories from my computer over the years, based around the idea they were absolutely horrible and no-one would ever want to read them. The thing is, usually something has to go wrong for me to gain motivation or be inspired to write. Why? Because then I can put a whole range of emotions into a story instead of clouds, marshmallows and 'la la la I'm so happy!" which doesn't offer a particularly original format. So, because nothing has been going wrong lately I havent been inspired to write, and the stupid thing is I don't want anything to go wrong. However, I have been thinking about film and how much I would do anything to be able to finish a scipt. I have started one and am open to suggestions about what road it should follow. Famous screenwriter or famous novelist? I like both, I'm going to be optimistic.

One subject I am doing at the moment is New Media: Communications in the Electronic Age. It's really quite scary to think how far technlogy has come, and how much further it will go. Think about it, before Facebook there was Myspace, before Myspace there was....oh that's right, nothing. People communicated with each other in person. I didn't even own a mobile phone until I was 14 or so, and when I did it was a huge Motorola that would be embarrassing to own these days even as a vintage item. My children are going to look at photos of me from 2010 and say "omgosh, what the hell are you wearing?" even I do that to myself when I look back at photos from 2008.

 I miss the days when catching up wasn't done over the internet, but then I embrace it because I have run out of time, and to be honest I am completely different in person than on the internet. I am shy and reserved until you know me well, over the internet I am loud and use 'Lol' too often. There is no way I can come up with a smart response to your joke, I can't say something and then delete it, and I can't catch up with six different people in the space of five minutes- everything I have done on Facebook. I am the clumsiest person I know, I say ridiculous things and am better at expressing myself in writing than I am in conversation.

Now, I know most of you have another side, I am going to label it a 'Facebook persona.' What do you do on Facebook/the internet that you would never do in real life? How do you act? Are you completely different or the same? I am not saying that you're fake, I mean in the sense you do things you normally wouldn't be able to do in reality (like my given examples.)

If there is one thing I thank the internet for providing, it's online shopping. I LOVE online shopping (as I'm sure you have guessed by now) and have so many favourites saved on my browser it's not funny. The only depressing thing about online shopping is I can never buy anything. I have to window shop. But if you don't feel like dealing with shop assistants you don't have too. Joy!

I have three weeks left in Sydney, so I've decided I'm going to take a photo everyday until I move to mark what I love about this city.

On a side note, I am completely obsessed at the moment with buying old cameras. I am yet to actually purchase one but I've been looking. It's the house that's doing it to me, the idea of decorating my own home is getting me all excited and thinking of interior decorating ideas. In keeping with the rest of my entries, I suppose I'll upload some new links for you to obsess over. I have found a cute bag and tshirt this time! Everyone needs some of those!

Come on, how can you not like this bag? Exactly. It has already been sold but I'm sure if you wanted one you could contact the seller, don't be shy. $19.99 USD @ http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=43405243

I like wolves on clothing, I have 2 tops with wolves on them. I dont know why, I just like them. This is super cute, it's wearing glasses and has a bow tie!! $22 USD @ http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=42703803

The past is the key

I am currently trying to be creative and finish a creative writing assignment. It involves me writing a story based on a visual stimulus and then critiquing myself. I have written the first draft and have pasted it below for you to read. My visual stimulus was a photograph on my wall, which had me thinking about the past and how important it is in allowing you to move ahead in life. If you don't deal with it, you cannot move on and will continue to dwell on it. It may seem like all I write is happy stories, but that is so far from the truth. Most of my short stories are dark, even if I try and start them out as cheerful. This is my dark side (just had a flashback of Star Wars- hah hah.)

Past
The blu tack was old, yellow and causing the photo to peel off the wall; a subtle sign attention was not being paid to the upkeep of her room. Why she felt it necessary to have photos of old friends and lovers on the wall is anyone’s guess, her car had not been driven for a month. She lay on the bed day after day, twisting and turning with guilt. It was the end of the tunnel, but it wasn’t a positive one. There was no light, only darkness. How had she become a recluse; a nobody? She had made a deal with the devil, so to speak, and it had backfired like they all do. Standing up onto the cold floor, she felt around in the darkness for her glasses. Now she could see, she followed the white arrows painted onto the old wooden floorboards, leading out into the kitchen.

The kitchen was a mess; a storm had hit and caused destruction. Plates were broken and lay on the ground defeated; cups were glued onto the ceiling in defiance. Fruit splatters covered the hot plate; tomato sauce was still drizzling down the fridge door. She looked around with empty eyes, sighing as she grabbed a cloth and began wiping down the fruit splatters and tomato sauce. Her hair tangled with sauce, blonde strands turning deep red. An engine could be heard in the distance, coming up the steep driveway to the house. She threw the cloth into the sink and dove
onto the lounge, pretending to read a book.

The front door slammed shut, angry and loud. Footsteps in the hallway signalled his return. She shivered once, twice, as the temperature in the room dropped. His dishevelled hair and torn jacket appeared, his wild black eyes set in his head like bullets. He gave a quick nod towards the sink, knowing she was staring like a stunned deer at his red hands. “Why would you even try?” his voice was silky smooth, but she knew better to trust it. She threw a quick glance at the wall clock, it was time again. “I was trying to help, is that such a crime?” her eyes stared back at his with fierce regret. No, she shouldn’t have said that.

He walked slowly towards where she was sitting on the lounge, backed up against the wall. His snake skin boots clicking on the floor as he went. He pulled out a photograph from his pocket, the image already fading. He shoved it close to her eyes, forcing her to look. “THIS is NOT helping. Look what you’ve done!” she took the photo in her shaking hands, realisation spreading across her face. “NO! You said this wouldn’t happen! You lied! Why would you do that?” She threw the photo in the air and started ripping a cushion in half, he caught the photo, his hands still red. His eyes were a black hole, glowing with anger “I told you one thousand times! Do not wipe away the past, or you wipe away your future! I can’t help you if you continue to disobey me. I had to act
quickly, this was the result.” He ran out of the room at full speed, his form becoming nothing but a whisper. She picked up the photograph once more, staring at the completely faded image which had held the one word she needed to move ahead: memory.

Ideas and comments are welcome. On a completely different note, I would like to know where certain companies get the nerves to harrass my workplace and home. No, I will not put you through, why not? I don't want too, that's why. One lady the other day even tried to pretend she was my boss. That's right, I forgot she was in control of workplaces other than her own. She told me three times to call my boss "straight after this phonecall, on his mobile please" because I obviously didn't understand it the first two times. I'm sorry, what was that? You want me to call him, oh really do you now? No, I will not (just for the record, my boss is also my Father.) I will not tell him because they continue to call at 8.30pm every day at home as well. Facts for a telemarketer:

1. People may be trying to sleep and don't appreciate being woken up by a ringing phone
2. TV is more important than you
3. Watching a DVD is more interesting than you
4. Watching my dog learn to SIT is more fun than listening to you everyday winge about being from *insert name*
5. I know for a fact that the people you want to talk to know you're trying to call because you're HARRASSING them.

Ok, I have that out of my system now. I'm sure it makes me look like a winging psycho myself, but I assure you I'm actually a lovely person (I promise.) Don't try and pretend you are not thinking the same regarding telemarketers.

On a less serious note, I have been thinking about wedding shoes. I am thinking about not wearing any. But then I really wanted my shoes to be Jimmy Choos or Louboutin's. The fact that I can't even walk properly in 2cm heels is beside the point. The point is: Jimmy Choo. Louboutin. I think I have said enough. Don't try and ignore the fact that these two designers make beautiful shoes; I cannot get the same shoes from a factory outlet so don't try and convince me.

Exhibit A: Jimmy Choo
Exhibit B: Christian Louboutin
Which ones do you like more? (I obviously am not opting for either to wear with said wedding dress, don't worry.) Never mind that those shoes are over $1000 AUD each. Adding them to the wish list, tell me if you ever purchase some, I will gladly shoe-nap them from you.

For anyone else planning a wedding out there and thinking about wedding favors, I have found the perfect treat for your guests: Gourmet wedding brownies! What the hell are they, you ask? See the photo and link below.

$44.50 USD for one dozen @ http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=42442227

Yum! Imagine your guests stuffing their faces with these-priceless!

This entry has ended up being an interesting mix of story telling and wedding planning but it just happened that way. I don't know why, but the formatting of this blog is weird, the preview comes out completely different to what it looks like when I'm writing it. I'm still trying to navigate around it, so forgive me if it looks stupid; I'm not too sure how to fix it.

Jess

For the love of....

I have a confession to make. Each day I go onto http://www.etsy.com/ I.am.addicted. I have been telling everyone about Etsy. Etsy this, Etsy that blah blah blah GO ONTO ETSY. It's an amazing online store where you either sell handmade or vintage items. Nothing else. This is no ebay with money hungry sellers who tell you it's "REAL FAKE CHANEL" because that exists, doesn't it, something fake and real at the same time-go figure. All the sellers on Etsy love what they do and put hardwork into their handmade items! Anyway, I am LOVING it.

Here are a few of my wish list items:

1. What's this? It's a knot bracelet made out of rope. It's the cutest thing ever, I may just buy it. At $17 USD it's cheap. Have a look at http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=42747260

2. Summer may be over but who cares. I buy things that aren't in season all the time, if you're always following trends I don't consider that being trendy, I consider that being a sheep. Buy things YOU love, not what everyone ELSE loves. It's about you. These sandals are great, don't you think? They also come in different colours if you're not a fan of the tan. They're leather (note: buy leather shoes, ALWAYS) and are handmade to order, how good is that?! $70 USD @ http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=42327117

3. I love photo albums, photo frames and anything to do with photography. This photo album is made of felt and comes in a beautiful blue colour (my favourite.) For those who don't like spending hundreds of dollars at Kikki K, this is for you. The seller handmakes journals and other books as well. $39 USD @ http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35269103

4. Weird photography, I adore it. This photo is strange but it's also very intriguing. Your eyes really hone in on the rabbit mask and you wonder: why are they wearing a rabbit mask? Who knows, pick apart the meaning of the photo for me. The rest of the sellers photography is equally amazing. $30USD @ http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=31290371

Jess

Dance Dance

I know a guy who has a fiance, his fiance is shy and likes writing. She has only just begun to share her stories with him because she doesn't know if people would like her style or not. The fiance decides to read her blog and share the blog with every person on the planet (ok, just facebook) now everyone in his friends list can read said girl's blog.

Ok, it's me. I have accepted the fact that everyone now knows of this blog. That's the point, really, for everyone to know that I enjoy writing. Hello world! Welcome to my blog! I LIKE WRITING AND READING AND NOW YOU ARE AWARE OF THE FACT! I may just let you all read snippets of some short stories I've written, but only if you behave and tell me exactly what you think. Do we have a deal? I hope so, because I cannot hear you through the internet. Do not answer any questions out loud or I'm sure your family will think you're strange going "Jessica, I do not agree with that statement, yes I do like Finding Nemo, how did you know?."

I took myself for a walk today as Gromit has hurt himself. Has anyone ever taken themselves for a walk before? It's quite confusing. Let me explain; I take a bottle of water, my ipod and usually Gromit's lead is in my right hand. With no lead in my hand this posed a problem. Where do I put my ipod? Which hand do I hold the water bottle in? I know it shouldn't be that confusing, but I looked ridiculous with a bottle in one hand and the ipod in the other, almost like I didn't know how to balance myself properly. It felt weird walking out of the house without my trusty animal pulling me along. Does anyone else need to take an animal with them when walking/running to avoid looking stupid? Or is it just me? I must admit, I laugh at people running when I'm in my car. No offense, but some people look hilarious when they run. For example, I look like, I dont know, an uncoordinated rabbit.

I have been applying for jobs in Bendigo for a while now and haven't heard anything back except rejection. I have applied for jobs that I have been qualified in, it's not like I am applying to become a Speech Pathologist or Doctor. I have a theory, that they either don't like the idea of having people from 'scary' Sydney work for them or are hiring monkeys. One of those theories must be true because it is beyond me why I don't make the cut. Perhaps it is offensive to say they're hiring monkeys, forgive me, it's a figure of speech.

I do believe I will get a job, it's the looking and applying that gets me all worked up. I am an optimistic person and will keep trying, but I'm sure some of you have been through the joy of job hunting. The flurry of excitement when you see a job that is perfect for you, the fun of writing and re-writing an exciting cover letter and finally, the relief of hitting the send button but then the agonising thought of "Oh crap! what if there was a spelling mistake? What if I wrote the wrong contact number? What if I declared my love for Nestle when it's really Cadbury I love!." That is the joy of job hunting, enJOY it.

Below I have selected a piece of writing from my pile of short stories I haven't had the guts to share. Criticise, but do it nicely; or not, tell me its crap if you really don't like it. I would rather honesty than "Omgosh Jess i LOOOOOOVE IT! Like, you should totally submit it to the ABC!!!." No.

I suppose these ones are more like rants, I wrote them a while ago.

Water Bottles:

Do I want a new water bottle? No! They are the reason for landfill and don’t you know that

PUMP is $600 per bottle now? Since when was water a luxury item? It’s advertised now to be ‘pure artesian spring water, straight from a spring! No added chemicals except for all the mud, tadpoles and green algae! Yum! But we don’t tell you that because we want your MONEY!’ God help us all if we don’t join Kabbalah right now and drink only Kabbalah approved water like Madonna! I have no idea how people 2000 years ago lived without a filter system attached to their kitchen taps, I’m surprised they didn’t all die. I’m surprised I haven’t died yet; I am unclean and have unfiltered tap water flowing through my body! If you are spending too much time worrying about what type of water you’re drinking, you have obviously never been overseas, to a concert, spent too much money shopping, bought too many DVDs when JBHIFI are having a sale-because you aren’t living. I guess I sound like a hippie don’t I? I promise it’s not true, I absolutely despise that thing they call ‘The Tree Of Life’. That shop is insane, it stinks like dead feet even though it’s apparently ‘soothing incense’, and don’t get me started on crystals. Crystals will not heal you; you have been listening to the wrong TV commercials. Listen to the ones that speak of normal things instead such as having a life and getting out there.

Crystals are colourful and look good at the bottom of a garbage bin.

Melbourne Roadtrip

I hate awkward silences so the night before I made heaps of mixed CDs. Who DOESN’T like The Backstreet Boys and Hanson? Exactly, no one.

One of the pit stops made was in a small country town called Wangaratta; it has an Aldi and a heap of op shops, awesome. Walking around the town made me feel like I was wearing a hot pink latex suit; everyone was staring. “You’re so vain, as if” you might say, but I’m serious. Coming from Sydney to a country town wearing designs they won’t see for another 6 months until back logs of Vogue are delivered is cause for staring. I would too if I lived there, in fact, I would probably be one of those girls who yells out “ya bloody tourist!” there’s one in every town, I assure you and they are fierce! So, walking around looking for food, we find a café, and because I’m an honest person I will say that when you’re from the city and come to a county town, you expect everything to be crap, even if you don’t mean to think it. Well, this café was without doubt, one of the best I have been to. The décor was amazing, wooden floors with a huge bar area, giant tables and newspapers lay on top. The bathrooms were even decorated to suit the rest of the café, which I found out actually converts to a restaurant at night. We ordered chips and a tuna salad, very plain order but if I could eat that tuna salad for the rest of my life I would be happy.

Jess

Procrastination city

I know, I know; it's been nearly a year since I last wrote. Truth be told, I completely forgot about setting up a blog, and the only reason I remembered is because I'm trying to think of ways to complete that book I want to write. One way would be to continue writing, so this is step one. There have been a few major changes in my life since last June; I'm now an engaged woman planning her wedding for October 2010 in Fiji. Why Fiji, you wonder? Well, why not. It fulfills my childhood desire of having a wedding on the beach and also because it's different.

I'm moving to Bendigo, Victoria, in April. I was against this for a while, my fiance had moved there 'for a few months' to work with his Dad. Now he adores the place and asked me to move there. No long distance relationship for us; really, could you imagine? Engaged and living in different states? I don't think so. I am and always will be a NSW girl, however, so don't freak out too much. Melbourne has not wooed me over just yet with its shopping or cafes. I'm thinking of keeping a video diary of my move there, would that be interesting? I personally hate any type of movie that uses the hand held camera as an 'alternative/unique' effect. I get irritated and pissed off that that is their only creative idea, which isn't creative anymore thanks to the Blair Witch Project and Cloverfield (which was boring and stupid, may i add.) This will be a documentary style video though, with the camera on a tripod/flat surface so no annoying 'jerkiness.'

Currently trying to complete 3 subjects successfully whilst planning a wedding. Had the engagement party last Saturday night which was really fun! The realisation that I will not be able to spend money whenever I want on expensive clothes/items has hit me. Saving for a wedding and house is hard enough, but the best thing about the house is that it will be BRAND NEW! That's right, Bendigo is cheap as chips for buying land and building a house, and that's what we've done. I can't wait for it to be finished.

One subject I am studying at the moment is Creative Writing. I learnt a very valuable lesson last week, want to know what it was? It was the fact that so many people try and think of something completely different, something that has never been done before, when they write a story. This is ridiculously time consuming because ideas are always overlapping each other. I have fallen victim to the stress of this and let's be honest, we all want to be original, but the most important thing to focus on is how you write not what you write. Take Steven King, for example, he has written countless stories of the horror genre. Think about how many horror books there are out there. Why is Steven King different? Why is he so famous? Because he writes well; it is his style that makes him unique and this is why he's popular. Have a think about it.

Jess