Ok, it's me. I have accepted the fact that everyone now knows of this blog. That's the point, really, for everyone to know that I enjoy writing. Hello world! Welcome to my blog! I LIKE WRITING AND READING AND NOW YOU ARE AWARE OF THE FACT! I may just let you all read snippets of some short stories I've written, but only if you behave and tell me exactly what you think. Do we have a deal? I hope so, because I cannot hear you through the internet. Do not answer any questions out loud or I'm sure your family will think you're strange going "Jessica, I do not agree with that statement, yes I do like Finding Nemo, how did you know?."
I took myself for a walk today as Gromit has hurt himself. Has anyone ever taken themselves for a walk before? It's quite confusing. Let me explain; I take a bottle of water, my ipod and usually Gromit's lead is in my right hand. With no lead in my hand this posed a problem. Where do I put my ipod? Which hand do I hold the water bottle in? I know it shouldn't be that confusing, but I looked ridiculous with a bottle in one hand and the ipod in the other, almost like I didn't know how to balance myself properly. It felt weird walking out of the house without my trusty animal pulling me along. Does anyone else need to take an animal with them when walking/running to avoid looking stupid? Or is it just me? I must admit, I laugh at people running when I'm in my car. No offense, but some people look hilarious when they run. For example, I look like, I dont know, an uncoordinated rabbit.
I have been applying for jobs in Bendigo for a while now and haven't heard anything back except rejection. I have applied for jobs that I have been qualified in, it's not like I am applying to become a Speech Pathologist or Doctor. I have a theory, that they either don't like the idea of having people from 'scary' Sydney work for them or are hiring monkeys. One of those theories must be true because it is beyond me why I don't make the cut. Perhaps it is offensive to say they're hiring monkeys, forgive me, it's a figure of speech.
I do believe I will get a job, it's the looking and applying that gets me all worked up. I am an optimistic person and will keep trying, but I'm sure some of you have been through the joy of job hunting. The flurry of excitement when you see a job that is perfect for you, the fun of writing and re-writing an exciting cover letter and finally, the relief of hitting the send button but then the agonising thought of "Oh crap! what if there was a spelling mistake? What if I wrote the wrong contact number? What if I declared my love for Nestle when it's really Cadbury I love!." That is the joy of job hunting, enJOY it.
Below I have selected a piece of writing from my pile of short stories I haven't had the guts to share. Criticise, but do it nicely; or not, tell me its crap if you really don't like it. I would rather honesty than "Omgosh Jess i LOOOOOOVE IT! Like, you should totally submit it to the ABC!!!." No.
I suppose these ones are more like rants, I wrote them a while ago.
Do I want a new water bottle? No! They are the reason for landfill and don’t you know that
PUMP is $600 per bottle now? Since when was water a luxury item? It’s advertised now to be ‘pure artesian spring water, straight from a spring! No added chemicals except for all the mud, tadpoles and green algae! Yum! But we don’t tell you that because we want your MONEY!’ God help us all if we don’t join Kabbalah right now and drink only Kabbalah approved water like Madonna! I have no idea how people 2000 years ago lived without a filter system attached to their kitchen taps, I’m surprised they didn’t all die. I’m surprised I haven’t died yet; I am unclean and have unfiltered tap water flowing through my body! If you are spending too much time worrying about what type of water you’re drinking, you have obviously never been overseas, to a concert, spent too much money shopping, bought too many DVDs when JBHIFI are having a sale-because you aren’t living. I guess I sound like a hippie don’t I? I promise it’s not true, I absolutely despise that thing they call ‘The Tree Of Life’. That shop is insane, it stinks like dead feet even though it’s apparently ‘soothing incense’, and don’t get me started on crystals.
I hate awkward silences so the night before I made heaps of mixed CDs. Who DOESN’T like The Backstreet Boys and Hanson? Exactly, no one.
One of the pit stops made was in a small country town called Wangaratta; it has an Aldi and a heap of op shops, awesome. Walking around the town made me feel like I was wearing a hot pink latex suit; everyone was staring. “You’re so vain, as if” you might say, but I’m serious. Coming from